I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
