Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
