I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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