he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
