worst night to have a conscience
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
