Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
