these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Sober January is a disaster.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
