brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
