You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
