Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
