his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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