You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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