He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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