I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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