2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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