Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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