4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
