It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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