Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
