words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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