He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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