We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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