quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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