Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
