this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
