I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
