Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
