Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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