i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
