yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
