Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize