its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
