we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
