Small penises have feelings too.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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