Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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