just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
A bitchslap is in order.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
