like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
