Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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