I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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