i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Your cock deserves a montage
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
