We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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