I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
