Your tits are I can't wait for
Don't make out with my wife yet
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
