I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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