I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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