is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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