My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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