I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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