I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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