i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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