just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
