quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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