You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
