I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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