im so drunk with asians
where?
always
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
two words...techno handjob
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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