i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
