the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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