I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
