GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
