just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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