The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
A+ Viking dick
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
