I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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