I am puke
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
