OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
